Swear on This Life

“Dude, it’s on.”


We rushed down the street and skipped over to the convenience store. “Remember what we used to do?”

“Yeah, you pick out something, I pick out something, and we share?”

“Yeah, let’s do five things each.”

We were in and out in minutes. We didn’t peek at what the other person got, we just jogged back to the hotel with our bags full of junk food.

I sat on the bed and crossed my legs. Jase sat next to me. “You go first,” I said.

“Okay, are you ready for this?” He reached in and pulled out a package of pink Sno Balls.

“Seriously? I got the same thing.” I pulled mine out and set them next to his.

“Copycat.”

“I didn’t know,” I whined.

“All right,” Jase said. “The next thing is a very special delicacy, an American tradition. These babies are undeniably good and equally disgusting.”

“Wait, can I guess?”

“You can try.”

“Donut Gems.”

“No, but I have those too.” He pulled out powdered Donut Gems and set them next to our Sno Balls.

I pulled crumb Donut Gems from my bag and set them down. “Ha! Smart minds think alike. But what’s this delicacy you speak of? Did you get one of those rotisserie hot dogs?”

“No.” His face was serious.

“Giant pickle?”

“Come on, Em, you’re disappointing me. This is so easy.”

“Slim Jim?”

“Finally. I thought it would take you forever.” He set the Slim Jim next to our stuff. “Whaddya got?”

“Ta-dah!” I held up a package of Fun Dip.

He stared at the Fun Dip. I thought he was going to cry, but he laughed instead. “We’re gonna have stomachaches.”

“Let’s just taste everything. What else you got?”

“Hot Cheetos and M&M’s, you?”

“Doritos and a Honey Bun,” I said, throwing it all out on the bed. “We’re also gonna have really nice breath.”

“Who cares?” he said as he tore open the Slim Jim and took a bite. “Not as good as I remember.” He held it out to me.

We took off our shoes. I put on my flannel pajama pants and a T-shirt while Jase found a movie to watch. We propped ourselves up on pillows against the headboard and proceeded to devour our score.

“Donut Gem?”

I took a powdered donut from Jase’s hand. “What is this movie?”

“My Girl. You’ve never seen it?”

“No. I didn’t have cable, remember?”

“That’s right.” He reached out and wiped powdered sugar from the side of my mouth.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

By the time Macaulay Culkin got stung by all the bees, I was hyperventilating. And when they found the mood ring, that was it for me. “This is the saddest movie I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” I cried. Jase laughed. “It’s not funny.”

He rubbed my back. “Ah, Em, I’m sorry. This was probably a bad choice.”

I looked up at him, at his sincere expression, as I took a huge bite of Honey Bun. “When did you cut your hair?” I asked him with a full mouth of food.

“A long time ago.”

“How come?” Jase’s hair was about to his shoulders when I left Ohio, and now he wore it short on the sides and longer and messy on top. He also had a few days’ growth on his face, and it was hard for me not to imagine rubbing my cheek against it. His look was effortless; it always had been, but now it was effortless in a sexy-man way.

“Remember, I was trying to grow it out for California?”

I laughed. “Yeah, such a dork.” I stopped chewing when I realized he wasn’t smiling. I swallowed. “What did I say?”

“Nothing. It’s just, after you left, I got pretty bummed out, so I cut it all off. Kinda lost hope in California.”

“Oh.” My voice was low. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault,” he said.

I reached up and ran my hand over his jaw. He closed his eyes. “Jason Dean Colbertson, how’d you get so great?”

There was silence. He kept his eyes closed and said, “You made me this way, Em.”

I should have taken the compliment, but it was such a big statement. “I don’t think so at all. I was a mess. Do you know how much therapy I needed?”

Staring at my mouth, he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “You’re not a mess now.”

“How did you deal with everything after I left?”

“Like I told you, I wrote the book. It got me through.” He leaned in slightly, our bodies just centimeters apart. It looked like he was going to kiss me.

“And all the women?” I said.

“Yeah, there was that.” His lips turned up into a tight smile. “I’m not proud of it. I was always looking for you in those women.”

“I’m one of a kind.” I laughed.

“Tell me about it.” He was serious.

“I have to figure things out with Trevor,” I said.

“I know.” He looked down at his hands.

“I shouldn’t be with you, even right now,” I said.

“Is that what you really think, Em?”

“Out of respect for him. He’s a good person.”

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